I think a new year is an interesting thing. Everyone sees it as a
fresh start, but really each new day is a fresh start. The moment we wake in the morning we have the opportunity for change (i'm so deep, i can
hardly stand it). I've been working on what i'd say is my resolution for a
little while but thought i'd formalise it (in blog form) for you all.. ready?
Be kind to yourself.
Well to myself. You know what I mean. Interesting right? Well i think so. It's kind of the sum of all the resolutions in
one, or my new mission statement I guess. I had this big list in my head of things I want to do more of or better:
* eat clean (homemade, no preservatives)
* lose 7kgs
* get enough sleep
* love my body even when another month passes and I don't fall pregnant
* do the little things to feel nice (paint my nails and so on and so forth...)
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and them Tommy gave me a 5 year journal for christmas. There is a question for each day of the year, and gives you about 4 lines. For someone who has been terrible at keeping a journal (that would be me), it's so easy!
So on 1st January, the question was " What is your mission?" and then i realised my mission for right now is to be kind to myself. After just under 2 years of infertility you can have easily accumulated a decent amount of self-loathing inside. Each month i don't get pregnant i've come to hate my body and am filled with words like - hate, stupid, barren, hurt, broken.
But really, my body is an amazing thing. It carries me through each day. I'm healthy. I can live and breathe each day. I can walk, run, swim. I can hold my husbands hand, he can wrap his arms around me the body I have and kiss my forehead.
All of this can happen whether I have a baby or not. and I should love my body for the amazing things it can do, not focus on what it can't. Easier said than done, but if i'm still trying i think that's what counts.
So there is my resolution or mission for the year. what's yours?