I was starting to feel a little bit like I was losing myself. - to infertility -
The depression behind it {of feeling like a failure} was starting to feel like it was swallowing me whole. I know i'm not a failure and i'm doing everything I can but it's still heartbreaking. Utterly devastatingly heartbreaking.
I felt like it was completely consuming me. Every thought, action, word in some way was in relation to my current state of infertility.
But it's time to stop.
Not stop hoping or trying for a baby. Not stop worrying because I can't control that.
But stop letting infertility define me and losing myself to it. Time to focus on what makes me happy now - my husband and marriage, my family, our little home (rented apartment!) and achieving goals that don't relate to babies!.
Taking each day and month at a time.
It's not as easy as it sounds but i'm trying.
and so far, it feels great.