A friend posted this video on facebook this morning. I thought it'd be something funny, not something that made me seriously reflect on myself. It's the trailer for a documentary called Miss Representation. If you don't want to read this whole post, please watch this clip before you go to the next post in your blog feed.
For weeks I have been dreading today. Anxiously awaiting (not in a good way) the day i'd go to get my braces. You know why? I have not been able to fathom how I can ever see myself as remotely decent looking let alone attractive with them on. I have not often felt that way without them so why would I with them? And really, how often are braces represented as pretty?
How often do you see a model or even an actor in a movie wearing braces? They are only ever portrayed on nerdy teenagers or unfashionable adults.
I mean... that show is called Ugly Betty....UGLY! Take off the glasses, braces and change her clothes and she's on the best dressed list on the red carpet with words like STUNNING, GORGEOUS used in the description. I know there was more to the show than that, but think just for a moment what it is representing. This is perpetuating the cycle of what is 'Pretty', 'Ugly' and anything else on that scale.
I have lost count at the number of people when speaking about needing braces have said "but you have straight teeth?". How is it in our society that the only reason someone needs to undergo expense orthodontic treatment is to make themselves look better? (and mine is double the average cost... like $12,000 worth of metal). I'm not blaming anyone who said this either as I know I've felt ripped off that I've been complemented on my straight teeth many times over the years and then I end up with this mouth full of metal.
Yes, I think we can blame the media. I looked at old photos recently of when I was a little girl. I looked at photos of a birthday party of mine when I was about 8 years old, maybe even 10. I remember feeling so fat and ugly compared to my friends and was shy to be dance around in my swimmers like they were. I WAS THE SAME SIZE!!
I grew up with loving and supportive parents, they weren't the ones who made me feel this way. So what did? The media is everywhere and I know should take a huge part of the blame... BUT some of the blame has to go to ourselves. I read this article the other day ("Time to start thinking like a man") and truly believe that as women we are each others harshest critics - did you see her hair? why would she wear that? Did she even look in the mirror? I mean PLEASE! Can we stop judging each other and ourselves for a moment and realise what we are doing to ourselves... and to each other.
This past weekend I was meant to teach a lesson to the young women at our church on 'Finding Joy in our Divine Potential'. At the same time I was so anxious about getting these braces I felt like I was going to vomit and felt completely unqualified to inspire these teenage women to love themselves and be excited about their divine roles as women (and having had the braces for about 3 hours I still don't feel very qualified!)
In preparing the lesson I remember reading this quote. It didn't effect me much at the time as I was too busy feeling sorry for myself but I remembered it as I watched that video -
"Woman is God's supreme creation of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more inspiring than a daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so." - President Gordon B Hinckley
I'm not saying everyone should stop shaving their underarms or stop washing your hair... eww. BUT... Maybe we can all just spend half as much time speaking kind words and realising the divine qualities we have as women as the time we spend on trying to be what we see on the television screen.