One of my sisters was going through old files on her computer and found a photo. It's a small one. Taken on a phone (definitely not an iphone). Not one i'd seen before so seeing it means so much to me and breaks my heart. all at the same time.
I think if there was a list of all the terribly hard things you have to face when losing someone you love, one is knowing you won't ever get to take silly photos with them again. I miss my daddy. I wish we took more photos. As much as it's the big things you miss, it's also the silly little things. like knowing there'll never be a new photo of you two together. That part sucks.
There's been so much this week that keeps reminding me of him and making me sad. I've been doing well for a while but this week for some reason has been a tough one. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate cancer?
I also feel like I haven't been doing anything much with the right side of my brain lately. Too many spreadsheets and to-do lists maybe. I have all these crafty, pretty ideas and I see things I want to do but at the end of the day after all the 'must-dos' i'm not really feeling like I have much energy for the 'like-tos'. I don't think Pinterest helps either. All these beautiful things in one place that I don't feel like I get a chance to get to. Like...hello... how did I not know until today there is such a thing as BLACK velvet cake?! Saaayy Whaaatt!!
but... what I really think my body needs to do right now, at this very moment, is sleep. You know when you work out too hard at the gym and then you are in agony for days? Yep that's me. It doesn't feel entirely productive though as I can barely walk let alone do another workout. I'm suffering from the too-many-squats-can-barely-bend-my-legs-to-sit-down-syndrome.
Not exactly a terribly inspiring post tonight, more like a brain-vomit. sorry kids. I promise I'll be a bit more enthusiastic next time. For now, I think i'm going to tuck myself in bed for an early night (and also to escape the foul zombie video game the hubs is playing in the living room...bleh!).
ps. my mumma is coming to play this weekend and is taking me to get a facial (that's true love)...we may or may not also get to go to my favourite place in the whole world...and take her to Costco for the first time :) So, at the end of the day... I guess the world isn't all bad!
There's been so much this week that keeps reminding me of him and making me sad. I've been doing well for a while but this week for some reason has been a tough one. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate cancer?
I also feel like I haven't been doing anything much with the right side of my brain lately. Too many spreadsheets and to-do lists maybe. I have all these crafty, pretty ideas and I see things I want to do but at the end of the day after all the 'must-dos' i'm not really feeling like I have much energy for the 'like-tos'. I don't think Pinterest helps either. All these beautiful things in one place that I don't feel like I get a chance to get to. Like...hello... how did I not know until today there is such a thing as BLACK velvet cake?! Saaayy Whaaatt!!
(and of course I discovered this on...you guessed it! Right here!)
but... what I really think my body needs to do right now, at this very moment, is sleep. You know when you work out too hard at the gym and then you are in agony for days? Yep that's me. It doesn't feel entirely productive though as I can barely walk let alone do another workout. I'm suffering from the too-many-squats-can-barely-bend-my-legs-to-sit-down-syndrome.
Not exactly a terribly inspiring post tonight, more like a brain-vomit. sorry kids. I promise I'll be a bit more enthusiastic next time. For now, I think i'm going to tuck myself in bed for an early night (and also to escape the foul zombie video game the hubs is playing in the living room...bleh!).
ps. my mumma is coming to play this weekend and is taking me to get a facial (that's true love)...we may or may not also get to go to my favourite place in the whole world...and take her to Costco for the first time :) So, at the end of the day... I guess the world isn't all bad!