:: A portrait of my baby, once a week, every week, for a whole year ::
There may be 11 portraits missing in between the last one I posted and this but I don't want to miss capturing as much of this miracle of pregnancy as I can.
I'm so ready for this little guy to be born. I'm 38 weeks and he's all grown and ready to come whenever it's the right time.
Yes, i'm uncomfortable but that's not why I want him to be come now. Yes, I feel like my body has almost reached it's limit but that's not why I want him to come now. Yes, I have chronic carpal tunnel pain, sharp pains down my legs and in my back, rarely get much sleep and have to pee ALL the time - but they still aren't the reasons why I want him to come now.
I feel like we are standing at a door. Behind that door is a whole new world. There is someone I love there. Someone I'll love more than I've ever loved before. In fact, I already love that person and it's hard to imagine loving him more but I know I will. When I think about finally holding him in my arms my eyes are flooded with tears.
But we can't open that door. We have to wait for that door to be opened for us. After so many years of praying and hoping, we are standing there, finally right in front of that door. It's in arms reach. It's right before us. But we have to be a patient a little bit longer.
So however long until that time finally comes, I'll do my best to cherish this time. Each kick. Each wriggle. Each giant stretch that feels like he's a metre long. Knowing he can hear my heart. The heart that beats for each of those wriggles. The heart that beats for the chance to finally see his face and kiss his cheeks.
It's really hard to imagine how I every got so lucky.