Some days I don't know how much to share about our battle with infertility. I don't want to be boring. Or depressing. Or negative. Honestly, it hurts. Like a bitch. (Sorry but most days it deserves that word). I honestly don't know what to do, what our problem is (the explanation for our unexplained infertility), or what to do to help.
The thought of IVF scares the heck out of me and I know even on clomid I feel like a rage-monster so who knows what IVF drugs would do. Though realistically going back to the fertility specialist would mean serious conversations about those serious fertility treatments would happen.
I kind of feel like I need to exhaust all of our other options before I can emotionally deal with the process of IVF. Knowing i've done everything i can before putting us through that. So I'm pretty sure we are doing to try alternative medicine for the next 6 months or so. You know, things like acupuncture, naturopathy. But really, who knows what will work?
So, that's where this thing called infertility is at for us right now. I discovered a new blog yesterday (A Blog About Love) and I read the posts crying, wishing I had her positivity. I haven't been going through this as long as she has (7 years I think!) so maybe it takes a bit more time to be accepting, i'm not sure. One of the more recent posts I read Mara talked about ' enjoying the process' and that positivity is a decision. They are what I want to be feeling.
But I don't think I can yet. Well at least today. I guess that's my biggest confession for the moment.
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