Ok confession time.... {this is scary to post... just so you know}
I was sad when I heard the announcement about the lowering of the age that young women can serve missions for our church.
Not because I don't think it's wonderful. I think it's AMAZING!
You see, when I was 19 I would have served a mission. By the time I was 21, I had just had my heart broken and felt like serving a mission would be mostly because I wasn't getting married. I felt, even after praying, it wasn't the time for me serve.
About 6 months later I started dating someone and to keep it short, it wasn't a healthy relationship. It didn't take long for me to feel pretty rotten about myself, that I couldn't get anyone who treated me better, that I was pretty worthless actually.
So when my Bishop spoke to me in his office one day and passed those white papers across his desk, I freaked out. I felt like God was giving me an escape. But when I told my boyfriend, he freaked out. I wished instantly that I didn't tell him. But I didn't have a choice because he knew the Bishop had asked to see me and I had to repeat exactly what was said in case it was anything to do with him. He said a lot of things that I knew weren't true about me serving but if I said I wanted to go, he would take that as me confirming he was right. and that was not worth it.
So I didn't go.
When I heard our Prophet say those words, there was just a tinge of sadness in my heart. I missed my chance because I was scared of my boyfriend. I know all the choices i've made in my life have led me to this point, with a happy and healthy life and a better husband than I could have dreamed of in a million years. I wouldn't want to change anything because I wouldn't want up anywhere than with Tom. But for just a few minutes, I was sad that this didn't come about 10 years earlier.
But, to be 19 again. imagine that.
I was sad when I heard the announcement about the lowering of the age that young women can serve missions for our church.
Not because I don't think it's wonderful. I think it's AMAZING!
You see, when I was 19 I would have served a mission. By the time I was 21, I had just had my heart broken and felt like serving a mission would be mostly because I wasn't getting married. I felt, even after praying, it wasn't the time for me serve.
About 6 months later I started dating someone and to keep it short, it wasn't a healthy relationship. It didn't take long for me to feel pretty rotten about myself, that I couldn't get anyone who treated me better, that I was pretty worthless actually.
So when my Bishop spoke to me in his office one day and passed those white papers across his desk, I freaked out. I felt like God was giving me an escape. But when I told my boyfriend, he freaked out. I wished instantly that I didn't tell him. But I didn't have a choice because he knew the Bishop had asked to see me and I had to repeat exactly what was said in case it was anything to do with him. He said a lot of things that I knew weren't true about me serving but if I said I wanted to go, he would take that as me confirming he was right. and that was not worth it.
So I didn't go.
When I heard our Prophet say those words, there was just a tinge of sadness in my heart. I missed my chance because I was scared of my boyfriend. I know all the choices i've made in my life have led me to this point, with a happy and healthy life and a better husband than I could have dreamed of in a million years. I wouldn't want to change anything because I wouldn't want up anywhere than with Tom. But for just a few minutes, I was sad that this didn't come about 10 years earlier.
But, to be 19 again. imagine that.