Does every cloud really have a silver lining? This is something I've thought about many times over the years. It's not always easy to find something to be happy or positive about when you are having a hard time. I've been thinking about it a lot more since watching the Silver Linings Playbook. Have you seen it?
I think i've mentioned before that I get anxiety. I don't think I can pinpoint a certain point when it started but it really starting impacting my daily life as a teenager. Then again in my early twenties. I feel like I can notice when my anxiety is 'active' - my breathing gets shorter, my heart beats faster, my hands shake. It can happen at any time - definitely at times of stress but also when most people would be absolutely fine.
I didn't feel like it was normal to feel this way when I was a teenager but I remember not being able to explain why I did and I was embarrassed. I felt like it made me weird. The only times I'd ever heard things about people being like me was quickly followed by them being called crazy.
As i've gotten older and learnt more, it made me angry. If you have asthma, nobody thinks it's weird or crazy to take medicine from the doctor. You are sick, if there is a way to make you better, it's crazy to not take it. So why the stigma about mental illness? It's a illness, that's all. My anxiety isn't debilitating. I know how to manage it and one day if I can't, I'll get the help I need and there is nothing wrong with that.
Through my adult life i've read a lot about mental illness. I like to learn and be informed as much as I can. So I was really eager to see Silver Linings Playbook. I thought it was brilliant. The portrayal real and honest. I hope that those who have the ability to influence continue to work toward breaking down the stigma and fear around mental illness.
I wonder if that's my 'silver lining' to having to bear anxiety. Having these experiences has given me a greater understanding of those who have a greater burden to carry than I do. Made more tolerant, slower to judge. I still have a lot to learn but I guess if I look for the positive, I can find the silver lining.
If you or anyone you love might be struggling you can get help here x